I'm very close to chucking it all in. It's not even the marathon per se, more a reflection of where I am in life right now. Well, it's partly the running. I'd been soaring, really proud of my training and my fitness improvements. And I was fuelling myself well. Approaching the end of week 2, and Storm Dennis was making outdoor training grossly unappealing. I was scheduled to do 6 miles last weekend, went out with a group to do 10 miles and ended up doing 11.4 miles. But by the end, I was really fed up, and bored. Too much too soon and I totally lost my love, right there. Add in a large dose of mum/ wife guilt for being out for so long. Oh, and then follow that with routine disappearing for half term and eating my way through Tuesday and Wednesday.
Basically I have definitely not been stronger than my strongest excuse, my mental health and eating patterns have taken a massive dive, and my current state of catastrophising and feeling like a failure is just making me want to fulfil that self-pitying prophecy and call it a day.
Tomorrow morning I'm heading out on a suck it and see run. Officially the plan says 7 miles. But, given that it's totally gone out of the window this week, I'm just going to run loops and see what my body is saying to me. Recovery from 11+ miles on my knees and back has taken most of the week, and my only exercise has been swimming, static bike and walking. So, I guess I'll know more tomorrow...
Friday, 21 February 2020
Friday, 7 February 2020
Week 1 of ?
Feeling like a total screw up right now. So far this week:
Monday ran 3 miles after work. Flew round. Felt fantastic
Tuesday rest day, apart from carrying Benjamin in the backpack all day due to him being a buggy escaping toad
Wednesday. Very low day. Scales confirmed healthy eating and exercise paying off, lost 2lb last week. Low. But rallied to smash out a gym session which boosted me
Thursday. Work. Low day again. Didn't exercise as planned in evening but ate healthily
Friday. Got up at 6am and did exercise DVD as paths very icy out. Will run tomorrow. Benjamin continued to be a toad. Repeatedly lost my shit with him and consumed several thousand calories of sugar to cope. Cried a lot. Seriously considered dropping out of marathon as have no idea how on earth I can do this.
Saturday. Waiting for daddy day care so that I can go out and do 5 or 6 miles. Massive self doubt. No idea how I will fit in the training around family life as it's only week 1 ðŸ˜
Monday ran 3 miles after work. Flew round. Felt fantastic
Tuesday rest day, apart from carrying Benjamin in the backpack all day due to him being a buggy escaping toad
Wednesday. Very low day. Scales confirmed healthy eating and exercise paying off, lost 2lb last week. Low. But rallied to smash out a gym session which boosted me
Thursday. Work. Low day again. Didn't exercise as planned in evening but ate healthily
Friday. Got up at 6am and did exercise DVD as paths very icy out. Will run tomorrow. Benjamin continued to be a toad. Repeatedly lost my shit with him and consumed several thousand calories of sugar to cope. Cried a lot. Seriously considered dropping out of marathon as have no idea how on earth I can do this.
Saturday. Waiting for daddy day care so that I can go out and do 5 or 6 miles. Massive self doubt. No idea how I will fit in the training around family life as it's only week 1 ðŸ˜
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